Hello and welcome to Marketing Your Truth, the podcast that transmutes the noise of typical generic marketing BS into a method that mirrors the depth of your passion and honors who you truly are. I'm Eleanor Tolley, and if you've been searching for a way for your message to be felt, not just heard, you've found the right place. This is your sanctuary where we value and amplify the unique wisdom that only you possess. I'm glad you're here. Let's get started. The spotlight is on you, right? There's complete silence. Everyone's eyes on you, waiting to see if you're going to deliver. Now, as a comedian, your job is very simple, right? Your job is to make your audience laugh. You're going to adjust the timing, tweak the punchline, and you're going to keep your eye on your audience's reaction and change up your act if you need to, to do whatever it takes to get those laughs, to get those claps. For a performer, that's the whole gig. That's the whole game, right? You work for the crowd. You succeed when they laugh, when they clap, when they cheer. And if they're not responding, you're going to adjust your act to bring them back in. It's a job that's defined by reaction, by those nods, by those applause. And that's what makes a good performer. But here's the thing: you, my dear, as an entrepreneur, as a coach, as a creator, you're not a performer. But for some reason, most of us, when it's time to step into the stage of entrepreneurship, especially when we show up on social media, we definitely act like one. Have you ever done this? You publish a post, a social media post, and you keep checking back every 30 minutes or so to see if it got likes or shares or comments. And you feel really disappointed if it didn't get enough reaction that he had hoped for. And it actually stings a lot more when you put something that you thought was going to be very, very valuable and that piece in particular didn't perform as well. But then the next day you post the Happy Tacos Day, and that post gets a ton of reaction. So then you start thinking, well, maybe I should find more stupid national holidays to post about. And just like that comedian on the stage, before we know it, we start creating and adjusting for reactions. We measure our success by the noise of the crowd rather than the depth of our message. But here's the thing: every time that you create and adjust for reactions, you're actually handing over a piece of yourself to the crowd. You're waiting for their reaction to define the value of your work. And before we know it, we're playing the popularity game or the approval game. And I tell you what, it is so easy to get caught up in this cycle. But when you chase these vanity metrics, you're not just strategizing, you're seeking approval. And when your decisions are driven by the need for approval, you're going to end up losing sight of your real purpose. You're no longer thinking about the people that you're here to serve. You're thinking about how to win the approval of the masses. And you know this better than I do, that chasing approval is a trap that's going to distract you from doing your best work. So today we're going to dive into why this happens, how it's going to keep you from doing your best work, and how you can shift your focus to what really matters, which is guiding your audience with conviction and confidence. First, let's talk about what's really happening when we fall into the trap of seeking approval, because it's not just a bad habit, it's actually a form of resistance. Resistance is the enemy of every artist, every entrepreneur, every person who has ever tried to bring something new into the world. And it takes a lot of different forms. It shows up in a form of fear, procrastination, self-doubt. But one of its most insidious is the need for approval. Now, to understand why we seek approval, we need to look back at how our brains have evolved. Thousands of years ago, living in tight-knit communities, approval from others wasn't just a nice have. It was actually essential for survival. Being accepted by the group meant safety, protection, and a chance to thrive. And on the other side, the opposite side of that, being rejected meant isolation, vulnerability, and even in some cases, death. Now, fast forward to today, while the threats that we face are very, very different, our brains are still operating on that same basic principle, which is approval equals safety. This ancient survival mechanism, which once kept us alive, is now actually sabotaging our success by keeping us focused on the wrong things. It convinces us that if we can just get to that next like or that positive comment, we're going to be safe. And at the same time, it drives us to avoid the pain of rejection, the pain of criticism, the pain of failure. But this safety that your brain is craving through approval is an illusion. It's a comfort zone that feels secure at that moment, but in reality, it's a cage that's going to keep you from expressing your true voice and achieving your true potential. And when we let our primitive brain go unchecked and we let these instincts run on autopilot, we're completely going to get derailed from the real work that needs to be done. Every time you let the need for approval guide your decisions, you're trading depth for superficiality. You start creating content that aims to please rather than to provoke thought, to inspire change, or to solve real problems. And you end up diluting your message. And in doing so, you diminish its true potential, its potential for impact. But it's not just about few missed opportunities here or there. You're no longer in control of your message, your audiences. Instead of leading with conviction that your audience needs to hear this today, you start second guessing yourself, tweaking your message to fit to what you think they want to hear today. And while that might get more likes or shares in a short term, it actually will undermine your underlying goals. The people who really need to hear your message, they may never hear it because it's been so watered down to please the masses. This is the true cost, your authenticity, your voice, and ultimately your impact. So the question is how do we move beyond this? How do we move beyond this need for approval? How do we get in front of it to take control of our primitive brain that wants to do what it was designed to do, which is keep us safe? It's actually a lot simpler than you think. All it takes is a slight shift in your perspective. Instead of asking questions like, will this go viral? Will people like this? Will this attract attention? I want to challenge you to ask different questions. Ask questions like, is this the truth my audience needs to hear from me today? Will this challenge them to think differently? Will this push them closer to the transformation that they've been desperately looking for? This very small but very significant change in your mindset can truly not only set you free from all the pressure to perform, but also transform how you approach your work. When you focus on what truly serves your audience, you create from a place of strength and clarity. You're no longer tether to the whims of public opinion. And you're guided by a deeper understanding of what truly matters most. The value of your message, the integrity of your voice, and the impact that only you can make. When you free yourself from the need for approval, something powerful happens. Your content becomes more authentic, more resonant, and more impactful. You start to attract the right kind of attention, not the superficial kind that comes from chasing trends, but the meaningful kind that comes from making real connections with real people, with your people. And these connections aren't based on how many likes or shares you got. They're based on trust, they're based on respect and a shared understanding. They're the kind of connections that lead to loyalty, to engagement, and lasting impact. But there's actually more. When you let go of the need for approval, you unchain yourself from the constraints that is holding you back today. You become free to create with confidence, without the constant worry of how your work will be received. And this freedom allows you to step into your true role as a thought leader. Someone who isn't just echoing what's already out there, but who is pushing boundaries, challenging norms, and offering fresh and original perspectives. You're no longer overwhelmed by the pressure to please everyone. Instead, you're focused on leading your audience to new heights, to new ideas, to new ways of thinking. Your voice becomes stronger, more distinct, and more influential. And you start creating content that not only resonates, but also drives change, inspires action, and positions you as a trusted authority in your field. This is the ultimate reward: being unchained from the need for approval, confident in your voice, and free to make the impact that you were meant to make. And this is how you end up building a legacy, how you truly lead and how you create work that truly matters. This actually reminds me of a story my grandfather used to tell me. You know, one of those tales with a lesson that stays with you for a long time. It was about a man who arrived in a village. It was a craftsman who set up a small shop and began creating furniture pieces that left a lot of people puzzled. His work was very strange, very different. His pieces had unusual shapes and weird, striking designs, right? Nothing like the sturdy, practical chairs and tables that the villagers were used to. People didn't know what to make out of all of that. They'd shake their heads, whispering, and some people have been joking about the strange craftsman and his odd creations. But the craftsman kept on going, undeterred, day after day. He'd be there in his shop, shaping, carving, completely absorbed in his work, unaffected by all the whispers and murmurs that was outside his door. And some well-meaning villagers even tried to advise him to help him out, right? Telling him, Well, wouldn't you make pieces that people will recognize? Something simple, something familiar. You'd have more success selling those. But he just smiled and say, craft with purpose, not for praise. Eventually, word began to spread around the village. People who had once laughed were now saying, you know, his chairs are actually very comfortable. I've sat on them. Like his pieces, they're bold, they're unusual, they're actually very pretty. And unlike anything we've tried before, they're incredibly comfortable. And eventually, people from neighboring towns started traveling to buy his work, eager to own one of his strange, beautiful, and comfortable creations. And even nobles and kings and queens were paying fortunes just to own one of his pieces. The same villagers who had once laughed were now gathered outside his shop, hoping to catch a glimpse of one of his newest creations. Craft with purpose, not for praise. There's something powerful in that kind of conviction, that purity of purpose, isn't it? There was this integrity in his process, an unwavering focus on the work itself. And I think we forget that sometimes. That when we're guided by what feels real and what feels true, the work takes on a whole new life of its own. You know, approval may come or it may not, but that's not what gives our work its worth. As we close today's episode, I want to leave you with this thought. The most powerful thing that you can do for your message is to let go of the need for approval. Embrace the discomfort that comes with stepping outside your comfort zone and trust that your true voice is more than enough. And remember, the world doesn't need another echo. It needs your unique perspective, your insights, your truth. So next time that you feel the pull to seek approval, pause and ask yourself: is this the truth that my audience needs to hear right now? Will this challenge them to think differently? Will this push them closer to the transformation that they desperately look in for? Because that's where your real power lies. Thank you for joining me on this journey through marketing your truth. If this episode resonated with you, I encourage you to subscribe, leave a rating, and share this with someone who needs to hear it. Together, let's continue to elevate our voices, one authentic message at a time,